Sunday, August 17, 2008

What is to come

I feel like I am trying to be some sort of a creative writer because I tried to think of a creative title...I know, all you writer are saying "really?" If I wasn't trying to be cooler than I am I would have just titled it "I'm so excited".
Anyhow, I really am just so excited right now.
I start in-service tomorrow. For those of you who don't know what that is ( someone asked me earlier today), it is what teachers had when you had the day know, when you didn't have school but your teachers were still working. We have a week of in-service before our students come next week!
My classroom is basically non existent because up until this weekend I didn't even have all 4 walls, several rooms in the school have been under construction. I heard that I have all 4 as of today ( but no paint yet) so hopefully I will be able to post some pics of my room soon, meaning that I am able to get in there and decorate.
I am ready to get started because I feel like i'v been preparing for this for awhile! I say that I am mentally ready, because honestly I am not pratically ready. Clearly, no room, no lesson plans written, lots of things to create still but hey, I am mentally ready. I am ready to invest in these kids, care about them, get to know their families, love on them, show them joy, and hope. I know that many days will be a disaster and I am ready for that. I'm just ready to mess up and keep going because I know that will happen. Maybe I am so ready because it is so clear to me that this is what the Lord has called me to for now.

Over the last few weeks the Lord has been stirring my heart more and more for children and families. I have always had a heart for them but lately I have been very sensitive to this demographic, a few examples:
(and can I clarify that my heart is for hurting children and families, I don't know why but it just is)

*last week I found out that my brothers daughter ( she doesn't live with him) has had CPS at her house twice recently, what do I do with that? I won't go into the details but it just broke my heart that any child has to feel that hurt and that shame. That she has to feel worthless or maybe that she has to earn love. It makes my heart weighty, that the Lord allows this to happen. It reminds me that our world is broken, that people are selfish and not loving not with pure love anyway. But the truth it does remind me of is that God is faithful, that God is soveriegn, that God is our protector and also that God longs to see His glory. I know in the depths of me that my Great God can use any event or circumstance, any dysfunctional upbringing to bring glory and honor to Himself, which in turn bring me hope and peace.
*We watched the movie "Swing Vote" ( if you haven't seen this you may want to skip this one, I don't really give anything away but...),
and for some reason this was very heavy for me. From the beginning of this movie my heart just broke for this little girl. The whole mother scene was awful for me, I was just bawling. Maybe after hearing about my neice this was touchy for me. The fact for me was that this movie is reality for way to many children and their story doesn't always turn out so picture perfect.
* Driving to school a couple weeks ago I was listening to a Tim Hughes cd when his song "God of Justice" came on and just hit my heart. I don't know what but it was like the only line I heard was"stand beside the broken". I am still trying to figure out what to do with this because I definitely feel it was the Lord speaking to me, which I love that He does! I'll keep yall posted...

So, I hope some of that made sense and wasn't me throwing up in the blog world all of my thoughts for the day. I'm not even going to go back and edit ( which I always do, maybe not for grammar but for sanity).

oh, here are the lyrics to that Tim Hughes song:
God of Justice, Saviour to all
Came to rescue the weak and the poor
Chose to serve and not be served

Jesus, You have called us
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give

We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go

To act justly everyday
Loving mercy in everyway
Walking humbly before You God

You have shown us, what You require
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give

Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out Lord

Monday, August 11, 2008


I wish I haven't been so bad about blogging lately. After a more than 2 week vacation to Portland, including a 3 day drive back home, I started teacher training last week! Between the house, teacher training and adjusting back to work schedule I am a bit overwhelmed, to say the least!

So far this has been a very difficult transition for me partially because I tend to like this "just so" and partially because I feel like I've had to say no to a lot of things lately and that I hate!
Amongst all the busyness, I am trying to find the line between not doing things in order to keep my sanity and not doing things because I am selfish. Where is the line!!!???

And to brag on my sweet husband...he has been so patient and such a servant! You see, what happens when I get so overwhelmed is that i basically become paralyzed. I have no idea where to begin. I also don't always respond in the sweetest way, I'm sure none of you can imagine that but well, its true! Today I became paralyzed, there is so much to do around the house ( I still haven't figured out how all our stuff fits/works in this house) and soooo much to do at school that I didn't even know where to begin. All my sweet husband starting doing was working, he just saw things that needed to be done and did them! AMAZING! It kind of helps me get started! Thank you sugar!!!

I'm definitely feeling the Lord stretch me in new ways and I know i need to look for Him through this very stressful time. I feel torn in so many ways and I just pray that the Lord brings clarity to me and who I am supposed to be in HIM!

Sorry about all the rambling, welcome to my world! :)

I will post some pics of my classroom as soon as I can-( my room is currently under construction)

Mrs. Warren