Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Business of Being Born

*Disclaimer: I am not pregnant, John and I are not trying....we just want to be educated before we start- I know how all of you think! ;-)

Hi friends, I just got the movie "The Business of Being Born" via Netflix today! If you haven't heard of this movie it is a {controversial} documentary about maternity care in today's hospitals. I haven't seen the movie yet so I am not promoting it or condemning but I am very excited to see it and I think I will probably agree with most of it! Click here to watch the trailer and read reviews of the film. If you are interested in watching it leave a blog comment and let me know, I want to have some people over to watch it together!

If you are interested in this topic I also recently read a book Called "Birth: The Surprising History of How We Are Born". I really enjoyed it, kind of freaky at times but very informative. The book is basically the evolution of births over the centuries and if you can get past the chapter on human evolution you'll love it! I think that is chapter 1 or 2, and I don't believe in the type of human evuolution she is talking about so I almost just tossed the whole book but I am glad I stayed with it!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

True life

(This started as an email to my best friend but I decided to post it in hopes of maybe encouraging some of you as it did me)

So I just checked my myspace page ( which I never do) and clicked on Olivia...not sure completely why, I think I just missed her. I wanted to see her and feel like I know her again. Does that even make sense? I was just searching for something to remember her by. I read a few comments from friends that miss her like we do and then I read some of her blogs. It was, on one hand, very sad because she had so much hope and joy. She wanted to be healed and she wanted to live. "but wait, she has all those thing and more" I thought to myself as I tears ran down my face. She does have joy, the fullness of joy! She is now blessed beyond our imagination and her body is fully healed, she has life!!
While it can be extremely sad for me and can almost make me angry I remember where she is, I remember who she is with and I remember what is waiting for me someday and that brings me joy. It doesn't make the sadness go away but it does make it okay. I feel like the joy is an umbrella to a rain of sadness and confusion. ( I know that sounds REALLY cheesy-I almost erased it and i'm actually sure that Olivia would be laughing with me) :)

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Teaching and Fear

So I subbed on Tuesday, for a 2nd grade class. It had been a few years since I had done any sub work...it was a challenge for me! It was challenging in part because I love calm , organized rooms and this wasn't. I work best when things are organized and this teacher, who I know is amazing, just isn't or didn't seem organized to me. I mean she had all her lesson plans pretty organized but not her room and that will be a must for my classroom.
I think the most challenging thing for me was and still is all the thoughts going on in my head. The first thing when I started reading the lesson plans was " crap, when I'm a teacher I will have to create and get all this ready". That scares me, I don't know why and I don't want it to! I struggle with a lot of fear and since college I have battled this fear of "what if I can't cut it as a teacher"- they have so much responsibility and there really is a lot of work. And I 'll be honest, I am a procrastinator, some of you know that. I know that I will have to have extra discipline to not be like this when I teach or I will go nuts. Its funny that I am such a procrastinator, both with work/projects and my time ( i'm that person who is always 5-10 min late), yet it stresses me out when I am like this. I do feel like I am making improvement in this area though!

I left school yesterday going " ok, I can finish getting my certification but maybe I can just convince John to let us start trying to have babies now"...I'm sure you all can guess how that conversation went...ha! Not great for me. Despite John turning my idea down he was very encouraging. He knows my fears and he is great at helping me to stop beleiving the lies of the enemy that say I can't be a good teacher. He prayed with me this morning and I just have to remember how all of this unfolded and the reason I am getting my teacher certification is because the Lord literally pushed me into it! I am so glad I am so confident that HE has provided this road, otherwise I am sure I would have taken a turn by now.
You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Psalm 16:11

I feel like this verse is very common but a path is the best way I can describe what the Lord has put me on to get my teacher certification. I mean HE literally put this in my lap, and couldn't' have made it easier! I know He will provide me with everything I need to do well including His grace and His joy!
That being said I will throw off this fear, which the enemy is trying to hold me captive with, and keep running , I will not be afraid and I will keep on this path that the Lord has made for me.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Hebrews 12:1

Thanks for reading this mess of a blog and feel free to call me out if after tomorrow I am ready to convince John to make babies immediately again.

Hope you all have a great day! Lots of love!

P.S. I was going to write the explicit quote of one of my 2nd graders but just deleted it thinking it was too inappropriate for even this! ;-)

Monday, March 3, 2008

Emily Tagged me...

Emily Rozell tagged me and I kept forgetting so here goes:

10 Years ago I was:
A sophomore in High School and was entering the "devil woman" phase of my life ( as my friends and I like to call it)

On my To-do list today is:
I have a week to-do list:
Find a teacher to volunteer under
Make cookies
Invite our neighbors for dinner
Costco with Kimbo
Make veggie tray for Rayzor Elem.
Pick up books from Mardel
Get paint for this weekend!

If I became a billionaire I would:
Re-do my kitchen, then sell the house and buy a big older home and re-do it!
Help out each of my and John's family members in some way, even if its buying them something they want but could never afford
Pay off our car and my student loans!
Go to the local schools and see how I could help some families
Get laser hair removal, never shave again- yes please!
Buy a timeshare
I don't know what else...lots I'm sure

3 of my bad habits:
starting too many projects at once
forgetting to turn my ringer back on after having been somewhere when it needs to be off
forgetting at least one thing from the house everytime I leave

5 Jobs I've had:
1. Waitress at Outback Steakhouse
2. worked at a garden/nursery - Little Red Riding Hood Nursery in Lubbock
3. toddler teach at Nike World Headquarters in Portland
4. Teacher Aide in an elementary classroom for 2 years
5. different types of admin work at a business and life coaching company- Building Champions in Portland

5 Things people don't know about me:
1. I used to be wild- "those devil woman days"
2.I went skydiving in college
3. I love going to Lowes and Home Depot
4. I want to be a full time wife and mommy..in a couple years
5. I loved living in Oregon!

I am tagging...no one! Pretty sure I won't have bad luck for the rest of the year either! ;-)