Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Our Conquering Lion

The Conquering Lion
Shall break every chain
He will wipe every tear away
He will take all my hurt and pain
Conquering Lion
Shall break every chain
He will wipe every tear away
He will take all my hurt and pain
He will lead me to springs of living water
He will lead me to springs of living water
He will lead me to springs of living water

I wrote about this song in this post a long time ago, the day Olivia died. I have been thinking about her daily lately. I'm not sure why. My heart misses her and I get overwhelmed with thoughts of her and the pain of not having her here to call, spend a weekend with, laugh with, shop with, dream with, pray with and share my heart with. I visited her myspace page tonight searching for anything new I could find, something I didn't know. I want to know something knew about her. Maybe its that I wish she could share new pictures or blogs, if I could find something new, I would still have her here. I don't think any of this makes any logical sense but inside me it does. I want to read something new or see somthing new about her so I can hang on, not loose my thoughts and memories of her! I decided to listen to this song again, Conquering Lion by Grace Faulkner ( itunes it), nervous because I knew it would bring tears. I immediately go back to that late Saturday night in Olivia's room the week before she died. Marisa, Shana, Samantha and i were in her dark room, praying for Liv, begging the Lord for her life on this earth to last longer. This song came on and we just sang it to her. It was such a sweet time and I just want to transport back to that place, sit a little longer, laugh with Liv a little more and enjoy the sweetness of friends holding each other up. I am so thankful for the gift of friendship, what an amazing gift from God! As I listened to this song tonight I was reminded of my own brokeness, I don't have cancer and I am physically healthy, but my heart is sinful, its broken. Jesus has taken that, he has died so that I can live. He has willingly taken on the burden of my sin, my pride, jealousy and bitterness so that I can choose to walk free, no more bondage. I have the choice to walk in the freedom that His brutal death on the cross provides me.
The Lord is teaching me a lot about the condition of my own heart and its tough, I'll be honest, it makes me angry. I have to deal with the reality that I am sinful, its how I was born. There is no room to blame anyone for my feelings, actions, etc; I must take responsibility.
Its this process He is taking me on that will allow me to lay down these dirty, sinful actions and feeling of mine, He's taking me to springs of living water. Its a daily process, not a quick say one prayer event! I mean I know that years ago when I decided to believe in Jesus, I became His, saved but knowing Him, becoming like Him and walking in a way which is glorifying to Him is a process!
I hope you find encouragement in knowing that He is the ultimate Conquering Lion, He will break every chain and wipe all your tears away and take all your hurt and pain! He will be lead us to springs of living water...but it will be a journey! He is so faithful! Thank you Jesus!


KimBeau Hughes said...

i love you nat! thank you for the encouragement this morning. i love what the Lord is doing in your heart and look forward to seeing the fruit He continues to bring out in your beautiful life.

Robin said...

Thanks for reminding me how precious friends are! Your post brought tears to my eyes.

You can pull off Toms for sure, silly! It was so nice finally meeting you too.

Anonymous said...

That is so beautiful Natalee!! I am so thankful for the time we had with Olivia and I understand wanting more! I am so thankful for you as well and praise God for the gift of friendship we have in each other!!! I love you friend!- shana

Brad & Jen Windle said...

Thank you this is awesome! Praise God

Anonymous said...

Your words really encouraged me. Thanks for sharing your heart.

annie said...

Awesome post Natalie, I love how you express yourself & what God is doing in your life. What's your email? Mine is if you'd like to email it to me. Thanks for the sweet notes you've left me. The encouragement warms my heart. love,

coneandmo said...

Hi new friend! It was fun hanging out with you at family camp and seeing your blog shows more of what a special person you are! :) Michele

The Barnyards said...

This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

Xanwater ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ said...

Yes, thanks for sharing your heart, sweetie. Your faith and hopefulness encourage me every time I visit your blog.

Michael, Faith & Evan Bleecker said...


The Mays Family said...

Thank you so much for sharing. This brought tears to my eyes, but it reminds me of some of the foundational truths we teach the little ones - GOD IS GOOD, and GOD IS IN CHARGE OF EVERYTHING. From reading this post and ones from the past, Olivia sure sounds like she was a special person, and it is great that you have such sweet memories. Again thank you for sharing your heart.

Bex said...

that song is amazing