Surrender

Humble yourselves, therefore,under the might hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6

A few weeks ago the Lord really humbled me, told me once more that He does love me and He does care for me, I forget that all too often! In fact it is that very truth that brought me to the Lord. I hate that I loose sight of that truth because it is when I don't really believe that that I begin to lean on myself, plan my own life and believe in my own capabilities, I try to live completely on my own abilities. And please don't hear me say that I can't do anything or that I think I am incapable. But the truth is that just like people in my life I will fail myself, we are not a perfect people. I don't know what is best for me and I am so bent to sin that I will mess it up. When I believe that the Lord loves me , cares for me and is my provider- that is when I trust Him and believe in His plan for my life. So a couple weeks ago the Lord graciously provided a very safe place for me to lay my heart at his feet, I let him have it back and He was so faithful. He used several people to remind me of truths in scripture saying that He will protect me, that He cares for me and that He won't give me too much.

Behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. And there I will giver her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope...And in that day, declares the Lord you will call me "My Husband", and no longer will you call me "My Master". Hosea 2: 14-16

He is so good and full of grace that he continues to come after me, to pursue me. Hosea has always kind of been my book of the bible. That is where I came to really know the Lord, his love for me and his desire to see me pure. And its interesting to me that even though I may not be turning to the same exact things as I did 8 years ago, I still really am. I am still looking to relationships - just different kinds, I am still looking to myself- just in a different way, I am still worrying about tomorrow- just for a different reason...but its all the same. The Lord longs for me to look to Him, to lean on Him and trust Him.

The Lord and I had a little heart to heart yesterday. There has been something that I have been holding on to in my life, something that I really want and I want it now (gosh that sounds awful) but the Lord has given me something else for now and who am I to try and change something I know without a doubt the Lord provided for me? I told Him yesterday that I will wait on His timing and that I will trust him, and not only just wait but be joyful and content with where He has me! It seems so simple, He is the God of the Universe, He knows what tomorrow will bring, He created the sun and stars and ocean, yet I have a hard time trusting Him...Oh Lord help me to trust you and believe you! Increase my love and joy for you, change my heart Lord, work in me!